Lauren Brown
Meet Lauren Brown, an extremely strong willed, intelligent and kind sophomore. She is the friend who will have your back, no matter what and will fight for you until the end. She is the peer that always has new ideas to share and bring to the table, making the discussion even more special. Lauren has dealt with art of learning to love her skin her whole life. There have been “ups and downs” since she was little but today stands strong in her beliefs. Here is Lauren’s story.
The Ups and Downs
My relationship with my skin color….has been up and down, but it is definitely at a strong point right now. When I was little, I went to all white schools. Until last year, actually. I was always shown that the pretty girls were the ones with lighter skin. I feel like if I hadn’t been surrounded by just white people or media that solely honored those with fair complexions, I don’t think I would have those problems.
“I’m Sorry.”
When the boys and girls in my class would mention that I was black, afterwards they would say “I’m sorry”. If we were talking about race or skin color or even if it came across casually in a non offensive way, they’d say sorry. For what? Is this bad? But why are you apologizing, as if it’s a bad thing? Am I missing something? I just didn’t understand.
The Breaking Point
It really struck me [that this was an issue] after there was an incident where I tried to scrub my skin off, until I started bleeding. This is when I was in fourth or fifth grade. It didn’t seem that bad when I was doing it. It made sense to me. So I kept scrubbing and scrubbing until I bled. My family was like “what are you doing?!”
My Mother and Maturity
I have to give props to my mom. She made sure all the time that I knew that I was beautiful. But at the same time, that kind of made me doubt myself. Is the reason why she’s telling me so much because I’m not and she wants me to think I am? My mind was racing a million miles per minute, but now I have a better understanding. The idea that “yes, I can be beautiful too” had to do with aging and maturing. Learning about black history, all the great things that people looked like me did, it made my mind understand more clearly that it’s good to be black.
Representing
I am very very aware that [skin color] is the first thing that people see when they see me. I make sure to give it my all and show them that all the things that they’re trying to put in the back of my mind, they’re not true. I try to represent my community in the best way I possibly can.
Ebony
Now, people are becoming more vocal about being attracted to people with a lot of melanin. It’s good, it’s progress. But when you hear the word ebony, it shouldn’t be a sexualized word. But there is other progress. People are becoming more pro-black, more open minded from what I have seen personally.
Mulan
In the movie Mulan, the part when her face is painted on and she looks really pale [compared to her natural complexion], that’s an example of “you look better when you’re paler”. Her face was painted white. I remember seeing that and thinking about why she made herself look so sick. What implications does that have on young children watching?
Skin Lightening
The people who manufacture those [product], what’s up with you? What are you doing? I’m trying to think of a reason why that might be good, but I can’t think of any reason why. [Your skin color] is what makes you unique, it’s what make you you. I have never personally encountered the [skin lightening] products, but if I did see it, I’d be disgusted.
The Solution
I’ve thought about this before and I don’t think there’s one definite answer. I definitely think that it’s good that they have the dolls that have darker skin. It’s good that there are more books with children of color. Teachers should not only read the Disney books with Elsa and Anna, but also read about Princess Tiana and Moanna. I think they should diversify what they are showing to their students because they actually have some control over that.
Dear Little Lauren,
Put down the wash cloth because you are fine the way you are. If there’s someone who doesn’t appreciate it, forget them. Not everyone is going to love you. You shouldn’t even want everyone to love you. At the end of the day, it’s you and how you feel about yourself that matters most. Don’t try to change yourself for anyone.
